Or lack thereof
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Transcript
(Actually a script I used, and improvised on, during recording.)
I’ve been publishing online for over 20 years now, and I totally get that this comes with its share of trolls, haters, and basement dwelling bro-wannabes that love nothing more than to complain, hate, and laugh at others.
Hearing from those folks comes with the job.
Here’s the thing: either it’s getting worse, or I’m getting tired. I suspect both.
Got a comment on one of my videos recently — the specifics aren’t important — that basically:
- Asked a question about the video.
- Indicated why I should have provided that information.
- Called the premise of my video “asinine”.
Apparently, they felt their comment was important enough that they also took the trouble to email it to me.
- I pointed out that the answer was clearly in the video and its companion article.
- I agreed with the importance of that information, which was why I put it in the video and its companion article.
- The tone, and that they were commenting on a video they hadn’t watched or paid attention to, annoyed me enough that I also said I took offense to their characterization of what I’d posted. I asked if they even realized they were talking to a real human being?
That last step is unusual for me. Normally I shake my head and move on, ignoring the ignorance and vitriol.
I also realize that I have no idea what kind of day this person was having. Perhaps their negativity was completely out of character and brought on by unrelated events and situations.
But lately I also feel the need to occasionally protect myself. I’m not really sure where and how to draw that line.
My general philosophy for years has been:
- insult me if you must, I know it’s part of the job. I’ll at least ignore you, and I reserve the right to remove your comment and ban you.
- insult my other readers/viewers and I will boot you, without hesitation.
I’ve noted of late that I’ve become more likely to respond to disparaging remarks.
It started with my “today on youtube” social media posts, where I poke fun at the silly, the inane, and the occasionally downright stupid comments people sometimes leave.
Lately, though, I have a difficult time leaving a boorish comment unchallenged. Much like a simple disagreement, I know I won’t change the mind of the commenter, but it can be important to provide balance for those who read the “discussion” (I use that term lightly) later.
I try to be humorous when I can, but I’m also not averse to coming across as somewhat grumpy either. I think I’ve earned that right.
It’s tempting to say that the internet has become a more contentious place, but honestly it’s always been thus. These bullies, trolls, and angry imbeciles have been there from the start. But like so many other aspects of modern life, it seems like it’s become more and more acceptable for them to come out of their hiding places and posture for all to see.
If anything has changed, it’s that it’s become more acceptable to show the world you’re a jerk.
So, yeah, I’m trying not to let the sh*theads get me down.
But I also know it’s not me, and that in fact I’ve got it pretty good. There are other classes of publishers who deal with much worse, much more frequently.
I guess I have to things to ask of you:
- Keep it civil. Disagree all you want, that’s important, but c’mon. I’m not talking Victorian era polite society here, all I’m saying is don’t be a dick about it.
- If you can, call it out when you see it. If you see someone acting like a jerk, either:
- Tell them, or
- Post your more positive alternative.
I’ve heard it said that it takes something like 12 positive comments to outweigh the psychological impact of 1 negative comment. I’m sure it varies depending on intensity, but — again, after doing this for 20+ years — I can tell you that concept is 100% true. It shouldn’t be, but it is.
And, to be clear, I’m not really talking about Ask Leo!, in this case. I’m doing well, even if I vent a little from time to time — perhaps more often than in the past.
It’s your more vulnerable online creators that really need your help and moral support.
It’s time to make being a dick shameful again.
Don’t feed the trolls!
There are some sick twisted people, or adolescents that have a lot of time on their hands and feed off of reactions. Even one of my (mostly) respected friends is a known troll who has boasted that he loves getting a reaction.
Safest bet IMO is to ignore the trolls. – I love the MLK quote: “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” — Martin Luther King
Keep up the good work.
Ignoring trolls is often the better thing.
In the case of trolls on a public forum, when we answer a troll’s comment, we are not answering the troll, we are pointing out the troll’s ignorance to others reading the article.
To paraphrase King Solomon,
“Answer not a troll according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a troll according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”
I appreciate your viewpoint and your absolute right to respond to hostile responses from sociopathic individuals. Hang in there!
I stumbled across your blog sometime in 2005 – and I’ve been a devoted follower ever since. I don’t always agree with what you say, and you sometimes tend to repeat yourself (“SAVE YOUR WORK ! !”), but I always find your work interesting and worthwhile to read. Keep up your good work, Leo. We need more people like you out there promoting progress and positivity.
Repeat myself? You sure you don’t mean BACK UP!!!
Yes, you are sometimes redundant, repeat yourself, and even say the same thing over and over again more than once.
Yeah, he replicates his tauto!ogy a lot…
Hi Leo, I love your articles and I must admit I occasionally ‘borrow ‘ a subject for my computer classes for the technologically challenged. I find myself equally short of patience with people that think they have to leave their mark on everything they see, click the reply button – and then think: they’re not worth my time and move on. One of the reasons why I have abandoned FB and other social media sites, I rather go to specific sites (like yours). Thanks for your work and don’t let the b******rds get you down!
I very much appreciate all your insight in the tech field. I am not a techie and find it very useful. The people that appreciate you far out number the trolls. This I know for sure
I would like to civilly point out an error in the article that even my spellcheck didn’t catch.
“I’ve heard it said that it takes something like 12 positive comments to outweigh the phycological impact of 1 negative comment.”
Unless negative comments impact algae, I believe it was a typo.
Phycological – adjective – Of or pertaining to the scientific study of algae.
I normally don’t usually tell Leo when I fix a typo, but this one was too good to pass up.
I’m a writer and editor, so I get this, it’s almost a certainty… just above it you missed ‘to things to ask of you’! 🙂
But what I really wanted to say is that I agree with the whole article, thank you for expressing the frustration so many of us share with you, and ‘hear hear’ for the last sentence!
I’m a writer and editor, so I get this, it’s almost a certainty… just above it you missed ‘to things to ask of you’! 🙂
But what I really wanted to say is that I agree with the whole article, thank you for expressing the frustration so many of us share with you, and ‘hear hear’ for that last sentence!
When I worked in retail, I heard similar: If a customer has a good experience, they’ll tell someone. If a customer has a bad experience, they tell 12 people. Negative comments go further faster than positive comments.
It’s as old as the Romans: “Illigitami non carborundum.”
[don’t let the bastards grind you down]
Claude (tge AI) suggests using “Noli sinere te ab ignobilibus vexari” instead. 😮
Leo, I agree about the lack of civility. I’m sorry you have to deal with those low lifes. But I know I speak for many when I say that I really appreciate your work and I have learned a lot from you over the 10+ years I have been a subscriber. You absolutely have the right to speak up and call out the jerks. Keep up the good work. Many of us really appreciate it.
Leo,
I agree with you. You do have the right, and possibly an obligation to respond to the trolls that post on your site. I tend to use the term “Miscreant” to describe individuals of objectionable character. Among those who fit into that description are writers/distributors of malware, distributors of spam, and of course trolls. When it comes to this later group (trolls) the more abusive they become, the more polite/patient I get. For the most part, these ‘people’ do what they do to make themselves feel more powerful/bigger. It seems that they haven’t yet learned that if they put as much effort into raising up the people around them as they currently do to degrade them, they would find that the raising up of others raises them up too, ultimately making them bigger than they ever realized was possible in a far more permanent manner.
In reality, I’ve come to feel sorry for those pitiable miscreants. After all, how miserable must it be to have to carry around all that hatred all the time. What a heavy burden it must be. But, then again, I suppose you get what you give, be it for the good, or for the ill …
Ernie
“Miscreant” seems like too big a word for some of these individuals to comprehend. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Aw gee, Leo! I’m sorry. You provide a very valuable service to me and I am sure to many others. Too bad you have to endure these as***les. I have saved a lot of your advice for if/when I encounter a problem. And I have followed a lot of your advice. And I have looked on your site for more advice when needed. Don’t let them get to you! I don’t know how many years I have been following/reading/subscribing to you, but many. I am old now, and started my first professional programming job in 1975. When I retired in 2012 I worried because my job (JPL) had 24/7 helpdesk and I was going to be without it. But you have helped fill that gap, so thanks, thanks, and more thanks. The jerk commenters are probably jealous of your knowledge and capabilities. But most of us are grateful.
Howdy,
Regarding Trolls. I think one of the biggest obstacles around them is that many(I dare say most) of them don’t understand that they are trolls. I have been interested in psychology most of my life and have come to understand a few things about humans. Beware of people (like me possibly?) who think they know better because they think and say they are smart. Often a good description of a troll. There is an understanding out there that the smarter you really are, the less you know you know. and the smarter you/think and say you are, the less you know what you don’t know. And there is little(no) telling those people that they don’t know because they truly believe they do know.
I hope you can make sense of the above.
This understanding supports the idea of just ignoring trolls as they don’t understand and there is no making (most of) them understand.
There is my two cents and I hope you get a pennies worth out of it.
Indeed, many of those we consider trolls consider themselves smart and righteous and a force for good, even when it’s clear to the rest of us they are anything but.
“It’s time to make being a dick shameful again.” THANKS LEO! Love this one.
I do not read comments to my comments.